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Let’s make April 1st a national holiday. Like Ukraine does.

In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd. — Miguel de Cervantes

That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in another. — Adlai E. Stevenson

Stay hungry. Stay foolish.  — Steve Jobs

When someone calls you a fool, do you take offense? Or thank them for their perspicacity?

The wise among us realize that our foolish nature is something to be embraced — and as often as possible. The godmother of show business reinvention, Cher, says, “Unless you’re ready to look foolish, you’ll never have the possibility of being great.”

Elon Musk was thought to be a fool to the 10th power when he began an electric car company from scratch, and a reusable rocket ship company after that. Both agree that you must free the wild child inside you rather than timidly hide beneath a veneer of “respectability” if you want to make your mark.

So the question is, how will you embrace foolishness today? What pranks are you planning to shake up the status quo? What could you do tomorrow, next week, or next month that will have the office, locker room, or family den buzzing with conversation (after the shock wears off)? And is one day really enough to play the fool card, or should we advocate for more time to really explore this vitally important side of life?

At the very least, the United States could follow the example set by the city of Odessa in Ukraine.  Here, the first of April is a holiday, complete with a festival that includes a large parade, free concerts, street fairs and performances. Festival participants dress up in a variety of costumes and walk around the city playing pranks with passersby.*

Based on the ideas generated by the fools among us, one could argue that businesses giving their employees the day off to act foolishly could wind up generating the brainstorms that lead to a better planet for all. (Or a 22% boost in productivity, one of the two.) Let’s try it and see what happens.

*In 18th Century Scotland, they did Odessa one better, as the April Fools tradition was a two-day celebration, starting with “hunting the gowk” in which people were sent on phony errands (gowk is a word for cuckoo bird, a symbol for fool) and followed by “Tailie Day,” which involved pranks played on people’s backsides, such as pinning fake tails or “kick me” signs on them. Not that we want to give you any ideas.

 

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Seeking success? Omphaloskepsis may be the answer.

Jeff Bezos is a failure.

There, we’ve said it. This may fly in the face of conventional wisdom, where the amount of money a person has is the measurement by which people are judged. But anyone building a 411-foot yacht that burns 132 gallons of marine diesel an hour  has obviously got issues (though apparently the environment isn’t one).*

Maybe that’s because poor Jeff and his fellow clueless billionaires don’t have the capacity for healthy introspection. Or the ability to transcend the material world to find even greater happiness within. If only Beezos had turned to omphaloskepsis, he might have saved himself $500 million — and be looked on as a real success.

Omphaloskepsis is another word for navel-gazing.  While this pursuit has gotten a bad rap from the money-changers as a useless waste of time, that is only because they’re not aware of its transcendent power, both as an aid to meditation and a way to contemplate the vast cosmos from which all life is connected.

After all, the navel literally represents the location of one’s birth, since it’s made up of scar tissue from the spot where the umbilical cord was attached. By focusing the attention there, you can experience a rebirth of the spirit as often as you like. For centuries, many seekers of higher truth have practiced gazing at the navel to induce a trance-like state.  The Hesychasts, a sect of “quietists” from c.AD 1050, believed that through deep contemplation of the body, the divine light of God could be seen.

Yoga practitioners know the navel as the site of the nabhi chakra, which they consider a powerful center of the body. It’s also a place to exercise “gut feelings,” like if you’re contemplating building a superyacht in Rotterdam and haven’t given thought to whether it will fit under the Koningshaven Bridge, now considered a national monument.

*”Eieren gooien naar superjacht Jeff Bezos ( Throwing eggs at Jeff Bezos’ superyacht)” is a call to the international egg-tossing community to bombard Bezos’ boat on June 1. More than 20,000 people have signed up to participate thus far.

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Even major historical figures like to horse around.

One could argue that Martin Luther King was the most important political activist in modern American history.

He was certainly the most hated man in America during the 1960s, for railing against the inequities suffered by African-Americans at the hands of whites, advocating for a guaranteed basic income for all people (60 years before Andrew Yang) and stumping for a redistribution of wealth (beating Bernie Sanders and Liz Warren to the punch).

In other words, the guy was a stone-cold radical who shook up a country coming out of the “Happy Days” of the 1950s.

So you might think that Martin was a dour sort. After all, when he wasn’t exhorting millions to rise up and claim their share of the American Dream, he was busy protesting the Vietnam War and fighting consumer exploitation by industry.

But did you know, five minutes before James Earl Ray gunned him down, Dr. King was busy having a pillow fight? This according to Andrew Young, who was with him that day in Memphis.

As all SuperOptimists know, it’s important to let off steam by hitting one of your trusted personal advisors with a hammer blow of feathers when they least expect it.

King was also known for laughing at his posse for jumping in front of him in crowds, ostensibly to protect him but, in King’s eyes, more likely trying to get their pictures in the paper.

May we continue to humanize the people we venerate as saints, while not judging their mirthful side as being at odds with the seriousness of their purpose.

 

 

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The most important person on the planet? It’s you.

At any given moment, the entire fabric of reality could be perched on your fitful consciousness and the world is only manifest because of you. Since you can’t be certain which moment it is, you are best served by acting as if every moment is that moment of great importance.

Example:

You’re shopping at Costco and bang your cart into a terrorist saboteur disguised as a chubby suburban housewife. You give him a look as if it was his fault you were crowding the aisle. This frightens him into thinking Federal Agents are keeping tabs on his every move and he abandons his plan to blow the place sky-high. You have just saved the world from a terrorist attack by shopping at Costco. You may never know you thwarted a nefarious plot – but when you believe your existence is vital to the planet, even small actions become extra special acts of valor in the bigger scheme of things.

Also, remember what Tolstoy said: “The most important person is the one you are with in this moment.” Given that recent circumstances have many of us spending more time alone, you need to factor yourself into that equation.

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Half empty? Half full? Not your concern.

superoptimist half full

While philosophers can spend an eternity wondering whether a glass of water is half empty or half full, the SuperOptimist sees it for what it is — a partially filled glass waiting to be sipped. 7 1/2 glasses more, and he will be well-hydrated for the day. 4 more after that, and he’s super-hydrated!

The philosophy behind the SuperOptimist glass view? If you don’t need to worry about it — then don’t! Let a committee of experts, professors, and doctoral candidates try to answer the unanswerable. Even the best minds can get stumped on the toughest problems, like these:

1. Why are there no words that rhyme with “orange”?

2. What color are things in the dark?

3. If Earth were struck by a giant meteor, who would survive and what would happen to real estate prices?

 

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Get rich while enjoying nature.

It’s only human to want to amass a fortune, and the quicker the better. Anyone that says they’d prefer to scratch out a living and barely make ends meet is what Italians call “un bugiardo.”

Investing in stocks, bonds or crypto is one way to attempt the speedy accumulation of wealth, although as with casinos, it seems the house always wins. We are repeatedly humbled by forces beyond our control, and timing the market only works for government officials, corporate insiders and that neighbor who smugly claims they bought Bitcoin when it was at $100 even though they’re still driving a 2003 Impala.

Playing the lottery can also provide a windfall — though the odds of winning are smaller than a neutrino.*  Granted it does promote daydreaming as you imagine the possibility of a better life. But you have no control over those little numbered balls vacuumed from the basket; your two bucks are better spent at the racetrack, where at least you can tear up your ticket while seeing the beauty of horses in full gallop.

Which brings us to an activity that is affordable, offers you exercise and plenty of fresh air, and gives you the opportunity to add to your net worth.  And that’s the search for buried treasure. Finding old coins, jewelry and relics from past generations is a heck of lot healthier than sitting around staring at a stock ticker. Why, a 1936 Buffalo nickel is worth more than 100 times it’s value today, and is sure to keep going skyward.*

All you need is a sense of adventure and the visual acuity to spot the precious items in your path. Consider Milly Hardwick from Suffolk, England. She was out detecting in a field with her dad Colin, when the 13-year-old made the find of the century. Or make that 130 centuries. The axes and other objects she found date from around 1,300 BCE. Milly turned in the find to official archeologists and is awaiting a giant reward.

Of course, Milly couldn’t have done it without her own metal detector.

We recommend a lightweight model that’s easy on the back, with enough features to make your search a fortunate one. Having done the research, we prefer the Garrett AT Pro. It’s an all-terrain detector that has 40 different settings to help you uncover various types of ferrous metals. And like the more expensive CTX 3030, the AT Pro is fully submersible up to 10 feet.

Venturing outdoors with your metal detector is a reward in itself, leading to aerobic fitness, healthier heart, improved circulation and flexibility, and increased vitamin D levels. Even if you find nothing, you’ve found nature — and she’s the greatest teacher of all.

So take a couple bucks from the clutches of Wall Street and invest in a metal detector. You’ll be glad you did.

*Neutrinos are the smallest massive particles currently measured and catalogued. The average characteristic size is r2 = n × 10−33 cm2 (n × 1 nanobarn), where n = 3.2 for electron neutrino, n = 1.7 for muon neutrino and n = 1.0 for tau neutrino.

**Remember to consult with a numismatic expert before polishing your treasures to a gleaming shine.  The value of the old coins you uncover can be destroyed with too much scrubbing and scratching. 

 

 

 

 

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9 vocabulary words to spark adventure!

Life can become a bit tedious on the best of days, but during a pandemic that stretches on (and on), the walls can really close in. Yet despite the close quarters, the same faces, and a dearth of outside stimulus, you can still add adventure into your life.

We like to create a list of words to start the process. By mixing and matching, you can conjure an interesting exploit for yourself; one that can go a long way towards jumpstarting the adrenals. We advise taking a pad and paper and jotting down the first words that come to mind. Don’t edit yourself; the fun comes in seeing how you might configure some or all into your next escapade.

  1. blindfold
  2. hang time
  3. wager
  4. accelerant
  5. shoestring
  6. Delray
  7. amateur
  8. midnight
  9. coyote

How can number 1 and number 9 work together? What happens when “wager” and “hang time” are paired? Just considering the possibilities is enough to take us away from the headlines and springboard us into the unknown.

*Other words to consider: odds, uncertainty, randomness, hazard, and surprise.

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Create your own holidays.

Every holiday known to man has started as a positive exercise and then been co-opted by corporate interests, sucking all the real meaning and joy out of it. To think that Jesus being born is a cue for Cyber Monday sales and drowning in credit card debt is a real head-scratcher.

That said, there’s no reason to follow the herd down to the mall every time some representative from the National Retail Federation yells “March!” Step aside, open the door for the mob, and walk due east to the nearest open space. There, think about a holiday honoring whatever interests you, and invite your friends, neighbors, the town alderman, and newspaper reporters over to celebrate.

Suggestions:

Fred’s Day

Bonus Friday

Velvet Underground Appreciation Day

Rhubarb Pie Eatathon

Heel and Toe Polka Day

No Underwearensday

 

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Act like a mallard.

If the anas platyrhynchos (duck) could not dismiss water from his back as easily as a shake of the tail, he would wind up 80 pounds of soggy feathers sunk to the bottom of Old Barnes Pond. Maintaining flotation is essential to his, and our, optimism. So seek out your local ducks and see how they do it.

They don’t absorb the water; therefore, they don’t get weighed down. Now you try it. Let that big deadline, or relationship issue, or chronic worry about your 401K, roll right off your spinal column. Give that problem an extra back kick with your heel as it nears your ankle for good measure. Shake off  your worries and dry yourself off in the sunshine.

In addition, ducks are expert at eluding their enemies, either by flying, swimming, running or diving for protection. And when it’s time to migrate, ducks fly in a “V” formation, taking turns up front to provide ballast for those in the rear. They know there’s no “i” in team. No “d”, “u”, “c” or “k” either.

Boy, there’s a lot to learn from ducks.

NOTE: Paddling furiously in circles while looking completely calm is another good duck move worth study.

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Enjoy your pickle.

Today being National Pickle Day, we’re reminded that we’re often in a pickle ourselves, and there’s much to recommend the experience.

We’re joined in this sentiment by such luminaries as founding father Thomas Jefferson, who wrote: “On a hot day in Virginia, I know nothing more comforting than a fine spiced pickle, brought up trout-like from the sparkling depths of the aromatic jar below the stairs of Aunt Sally’s cellar.”

Aside from Tom J., no one was a bigger fan of the pickle than his buddy, El Presidente #1, George Washington, who cultivated and collected both rare and commonplace plants in the gardens at Mount Vernon. Washington amassed a collection of 476 different varieties of cucumbers meant for pickling. A few recipes from his go-to restaurant can be found here.

The moral of this story is simple. If you have a very deep and powerful enthusiasm for something — even as common as a pickle — you must follow your joy. Follow your enthusiasm to full flower. It may lead to a lot more than just a tasty pickle; you might even start a whole new country as swell as the U.S.A .

 

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