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Its been 283 days, give or take, since our lives went into pandemic mode. At this point, you can’t blame family or friends for getting antsy, anxious, or even going batshit* crazy over never-ending social distancing. So what can you do to help their situation? Aside from radical acceptance and understanding, here are some gift ideas designed to lift their spirits and/or shake them out of their Covid disgruntlement.

1. Think a member of your household is slowly going mad from isolation? Why not get them the gift that helps probe their unconscious and get at their deep-seated feelings? You never know what might emerge from this couch time.

2.  Looking back, it sure would have been good to know what was coming in 2020. Why leave next year to chance? Turning to a trusty Ouija board to communicate with the spirit channel may help uncover what new challenges — and opportunities — await.

3.  As Todd Rundgren surmised, it’s hard to be anxious and depressed when playing the drums. No room in the studio apartment for a 16-piece kit?  Bongos are just the thing.  Need an instructor? How about world-class percussionist Sheila E. According to “E,” she’ll have a student grooving so fast, a job as a touring musician may be on the horizon once the pandemic’s over.


4. Nothing sends out good vibes like an authentic SuperOptimist t-shirt. Here’s one that offers a positive greeting to all those fortunate enough to come into contact with the wearer, even if it’s just family, zoom meeting colleagues, or pet iguana. Plus it’s accented with a pineapple, the most historically valid symbol of hospitality of any fruit or vegetable.

5. If the receiver of your gift has had it with the digital domain, what about a good book to while away their hours? “Sironia Texas” by Madison Cooper is one of the longest novels ever written at 1,731 pages. For a slow reader, this two-volume set about a small town during the early 1900s should provide enough distraction to make it clear through April.

6. And don’t forget yourself, as you settle in for another evening of Netflix, Prime, Hulu, Peacock, Youtube, Disney+, HBO Max, Sling, Twitch, Crackle, and Crunchyroll. A Danny DeVito pillow to hug to your chest when you realize it might be another 40 weeks until it’s your turn for the vaccine is just what you need to meet the moment.

Until next time, we wish you and yours glad tidings of great joy, no matter what the circumstance!

*BONUS SELFLESS GIFT: Bats have had a tough 2020, taking some of the heat for the virus that’s caused a world of hurt. But it’s not their fault that the Chinese handle them with such disdain. The fact is, it’s human interference with these helpful creatures that’s at the root of the problem. Hundreds of plant species rely on bats for pollination and insect-eating bats save farmers billions each year by reducing crop damage. Show these creatures vital to our ecosystem that there’s no hard feelings by giving a donation to batcon.org in your loved one’s name.

Are you amenable to letting gods, extraterrestrials, and mythical beings into your space?Are you prepared for energy shifts? For dissociation from what people consider “reality?”  For images, color, words and light language to enter your consciousness?

The practice of channeling — a person’s body being taken over by a spirit for the purpose of communication — has been around for millennia. There are countless stories of shaman, witch doctors, prophets and others who claim to hear voices or receive some supernatural knowledge from the spirit world.  Channeling involves shifting your mind and mental space in order to achieve an expanded state of consciousness.

Think of it as plugging into a vast cosmic switchboard or tuning a radio to get a clear signal.  As you enter the spirit realm, you become receptive to higher frequencies.  Let the universe decide to deliver the message and you be the monitor so others can receive it.

This being the time of year when many people attempt to summon a certain mythical being in white beard and red suit, we recommend following these steps to increase your chance of success. First, research the god to find out his or her preferences. (Rooftop landing? Front door entrance? Place for reindeer to warm up?) Then place a statue or image of the god on your altar (In this case, hang a stocking by the chimney with care.) Finally, leave out a selection of the god’s favorite offerings (Why not put a selection of cookies on a nice plate for your mythical being.)

It also helps if you maintain the innocence of a four-year-old when summoning your god. They are much more likely to show up if you do!

Aside from the holidays, channeling is often stronger when you’re active – exercising, dancing, creating, walking in nature, meditating — and when focusing with heart and not logical mind. So go ahead and do whatever comes naturally, from toe-tapping to automatic drawing to full blown mania.*

*Some might question your behavior when summoning your gods and goddesses.  Ignore them.  They will soon learn that you have entered a higher realm of being, and wish to follow you there.